I actually drew the strip before I looked up his past strips (I did look up the first one to get some family resemblance with his mother). But yeah, i just read them all, and It made me sad to see that Bruno and his last conversation was actually about suicide. Maybe this was in my head for a long time. I know I should tell you all that it was all planned, so that it seems like some grand significant foreshadowing. I don't know.
I know, I know, they're only characters. Yes, i know.
Personally, I've had nobody close to me die, and I know i am very fortunate, even unusual perhaps, in that fact. I have had acquaintences from Greenfield who did not get out of the town's clutches, and who took their lives. I don't know why this is on my mind now. I mean, the theme for Bruno Book#9 is going to be "friends", and it actually will span 2003 plus the first few months of 2004, and it felt an important thing to say in relation to friends. We're all fragile, in one way or another. Maybe it was to balance last week's baby, the whole birth/death cycle. Maybe it's simply because of my "killing" of the first "Little Dee" marketing plan, as i posted yesterday. Or possibly it is that the last two freelance assigments i've done (both relatively recent) were both memorials. I rarely get freelance assignments, because i don't actively seek them probably, and I find this unusual that I am the choice for remembering. Well, I draw Bruno, so not that unusual.
And then, about me? Nothing unusual. Just questioning my entire life and feeling pretty selfish and crummy as a human being. You-know, just one of those soul-serching patches one has to drag oneself through. The type of thing I go through probably at least once a month. It'll be fine, but the days have been long lately.
And actually, the days were literally long last week. i switched my sleep schedule from 8 hours to 6 hours in order to work on the mailing list. But it just makes me too cranky and unhappy during the day (even the "Bruno" art last week felt clumsy somehow)., and so I have relented and decided to return to 8. I'm guessing this is likely a very good thing.
Oh, and Wednesday's my birthday. Thirty-one. Funny how birthdays have come to be such milestones for me, and so I really really wanted to get some part of "Little Dee" to one of the printers (I'll be using two) before then, but I've wanted to use a campaign that reads something like "April showers bring May flowers, and the flower this May is named Little Dee" but since the mailing list would need to be done by the 10th or so of March, I'm guessing that's not a reality (this is not a plea for assistance, I'm simply talkin'). But that's okay, it's really just another arbitrary date.
What I really want this birthday is to want something, a rich fulfilling evening, and to have it be something which can actually happen on that day (or within a week or something). But I don't know what. And life, as ever, is just in a weird place right now, and so it will simply be a quiet time. It would be a reflecting time, but it already seems to be a reflecting time, so no sense in redundancy. But I believe it will be a nice evening with Bethanne, she said she'd make her grandmother's chocolate frosting (maybe even cake to go underneath it), and frankly, that sounds like as nice an evening as a po' boy could ask.