05/30/18 – King Welcomes




What is it with toasters?!


  1. Muzhik

    “What is it with toasters?”

    Because they’re so ubiquitous! Why else does every newlywed couple get 6 or 7 of them? One for sliced bread, one for bagels, one for frozen waffles, one for hash browns, and so on.

    (I suppose you COULD dedicate one to pop-tarts, but I’m just as likely to eat them cold, right from the box. That way you don’t have to deal with a super-heated center burning your mouth, then your chest when it falls out of your mouth when you’re trying to cool your burning flesh, then the sensitive lower parts of your body because you eat breakfast naked. That way you can just shower off all the food you spill on yourself before the coffee kicks in.)

    (Was that TMI?)

  2. Schismatism

    Toasters. like waffle irons, are notoriously tricky machines which have a penchant for possession and/or a reversion to feral behaviour, even long after they’ve ostensibly been domesticated. The two generally compete for resources, and oftentimes have to be put down after they’ve tasted syrup.

  3. War Pig

    Heck I’ve had the same toaster for about 20 years now. Works fine. It has settings for bagels, pastries (Pop Tarts), English muffins, single slices, etc. It is a two-slot toaster, not one of the big 4 or even 6 slice jobs. My brother has a 4 slot toaster but they are foster parents and usually have a gang at breakfast.

    I just make sure to clean the crumbs out on a regular basis and blow it clean with the same canned “air” you use to blow clean your keyboard or computer a couple times per year, is all.

    And why is it that toast tastes so good, anyhow? It’s just over-baked bread, but man, toasted home made whole wheat or sourdough bread is sooo good. I used to eat four slices of buttered toast for breakfast with a glass of milk or OJ and a cup of coffee for breakfast sometimes when I was a teen. Then there is the whole “toasting bread in the over to make cinnamon toast” thing. Then we have the toasted garlic bread and toasted cheese sandwich wonderments.

    Toast. The wonder food.

    1. Morten G

      Toast tastes good because of Maillard reactions between amino acids and sugars on the surface of the bread. Supposedly. There’s some controversy about whether gluten breaks down to a peptide that activates some of the same receptors as opiates do. That would also attribute to the enjoyment of toast.

  4. Muzhik

    I always thought the “toasting” was the caramelization of the sugars that make up a good portion of the bread’s structure. Doing so “sweetens” the bread. It also provides the heat needed to melt the butter so it soaks into the bread.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *