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Survival always comes with challenges.
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Val and Audri approached the food synth, a non-mobile robot which looks like vertical cylinder with a spout. Looking up, Audri said, “alright, let’s try it. Machine, my friend and I would each like a yummy nutritious sandwich and a refreshing healthy beverage.” The food synth said, “I’d appreciate it if you were a bit more specific.” Val then tried, saying, “please, just do your best. Flammy sandwiches, for all i care. I’m too hungry and thirsty to make a decision. Oh, and two margaritas for me.” Dispensing a flammy sandwich and two margaritas, the food synth said, “sigh. fine.” Perking up by these results, Audri said, “I’d actually like something a bit more healthy. How about a buddha bowl, with quinoa, sweet potato, chickpeas, kale, avocado, tahini dressing. And a kombucha to drink. oh, and a huge slice of double-chocolate cheesecake.” The food synth said, “huh. Earth food?” Audri said, “yeah.” The food synth asked, “would you like me to make it non-poisonous?” Audri asked, “is it?” The food synth said, “you can’t eat kale. It’s poisonous to you. and kinda gross.” Miffed, Audri said, “that’s it. I’m only leaving a 15% tip.” The food synth said, “I’ve never been paid anything in my entire life. I doubt it’s going to start now.” In embarrassed remembrance, Audri said, “oops. Oh right, I left my wallet on another planet. In my… um… other body.” The food synth said, “riiiighhhhhht.”
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Now I want a flammy sandwich and a couple of margaritas!
Not after you find out what flammy is. You’re used to Earth animal excretions like honey and milk. You don’t want to know where flammy comes from.
Well, as long as one remains in ignorance and is in an alien body, from Val’s expression, flammy is pretty good.
It originates in liquid form from a flam tap and fed into the flam double paradiddle for processing.
.
“What’s that sticker you just put on your butt, Audri?”
“‘My Other Body Is an Earth Ape'”.
“You can’t just introduce bumper stickers to an alien culture! They’ll never–”
“Ooh, what’s that?!” “I want one!” “That’s so funny!” “Take my flibbets!”
“I don’t think we have to worry about money.”
“I think we’ll have to worry about attracting the attention of the people who are hunting us.”
“Oh. That.”
My mum and aunt once ordered two margaritas on a river cruise ship. The cocktails were very nice, but what they actually wanted was pizza (which was available at the same bar).
I love the little toppers on the margaritas so they don’t spill when the synth just chucks them out there.
I love that the sentient machines in this comic all have the attitude of an under-caffeinated GenXer. X rules the universe!
If they had a magazine to read, they wouldn’t even lift their eyes from the page to answer a customer’s question. They’re not paid enough to care. Or paid at all?
Ok… This may have already been asked and answered, so just point me in the right direction if it has… why is the Alt Text in past-tense? Is that the standard? A personal choice?
Either way- why?
It seems to me comics would be in present-tense since we are witnessing it happening as it is happening? (Unless, of course, it is a flashback or something) To be clear, I am NOT making a judgement on using past-tense. I’m just curious (and a little disappointed in myself it took this long for me to notice and wonder).
Without claiming to know the intents of Chris, I have always thought it was because it is kind of a novelization of the comic – and most novels are written in the past tense
That buddha bowl sounded disgustingly healthy (at least for a terran). But all those points, and a few dozen more, were eradicated by the supreme nirvana of Double Chocolate CheeseCake :}
It’s instructive that even the food machines have enough knowledge of Earth that they can isolate specific poisonous foods for their customers and don’t even blink at the other ingredients.
Considering this story started out with Earth as a “dark planet,” this is major progress. Has one of our characters opened an Earth Food distribution center?
Somehow I sense Dmitri’s hand in this … 😀
The OG food synth on the Spacetrawler (and the bar-bot, I want to say) had all of Earth’s culture loaded onto it, including food. There was a comment about how small it was.
Earth-people like Dmitry et al have been pretty prominent, even if Earth has not been. It’s reasonable to assume that either the OG synth shared the info or other synths have the info by similar means.
In panel 4, I love how Audri appears to be lovingly patting the food-synth, as if happily reassured to hear mention of Earth.
I was just thinking how much you’d pay on Earth for medical advice to keep you from eating poisonous kale. Never mind the Buddha bowl; the real money is in keeping people from accidentally offing themselves with Earth food.
But of course, no one pays for this advice. Or the Buddha bowl, or the margaritas or their anti-spill covers. I could live with that. Maybe not as a bimanual quadruped, though.
Not even if you were a cute one?
Oh hell no
The server *politely* suggests that the customer’s order might make them sick, and the response is to ding them on the tip? That’s some serious self-important, entitled, spoiled brat right there…