05/27/22 – A Big Celebration

Spacetrawler, audio version For the blind or visually impaired, May 27, 2022.




The Stribs only get nicer and nicer as you get to know them, don’t they?


  1. Jude

    Hey, look at it this way. We all know the Stribs are heartless bastards with no compassion or empathy for each other regardless if their age. So, if you’re a Strib senior who would you prefer to care for you? These younger Stribs who’d likely euthanise you in order to go partying? Or these new aliens who sound like they’re actually caring for the seniors even though they were duped into doing so? Yeah, if I was a senior, I’d say the choice is obvious.

    1. Tavis

      Ahh, but you’re not a Strib senior. The ones who aren’t too far gone to know what’s what are likely resentful of their new caregivers not letting them also have unfettered reckless and destructive fun at the Calpthurians’ expense.

  2. The Shadow

    I honestly don’t know how you do it. Each strip that features the Stribs, I think, “I can’t possibly hate them more than I do now.” And each strip, you somehow manage it.

    1. Pete Rogan

      Ooh! Ooh! I found it!

      The ACCO Super Bulldozer is what you want. It’s 183 tons, 12 meters in length, and the blade is 7 m wide and 2.7 m tall. And it’s immediately available.

      See, it was built forty years ago in Portogruaro in northern Italy by the Umberto Acco company, in order to be exported to Libya in the early 1980s. Due to the trade embargo restrictions imposed by the United States of America in 1986 on that country (caused by the involvement of Colonel Gaddafi, the leader of Libya at that time, in international terrorism), ACCO Super Dozer was never shipped to its destination and was put into storage. Where it remains to this day.

      It’s powered by two 675 HP (503 kW) Caterpillar engines, placed horizontally opposed, that deliver a total combined output of 1350 HP (1010 kW). No more powerful bulldozer has ever been built. You could do a power of work on the Stribs with this thing. If you’ve got the pocket change to pick it up; I imagine it’s a trifle pricey, and you’ll need to talk them down from storage costs. Transport would be up to you.

      Oh, and since it’s three times the mass of a brachiosaurus, be careful to use it only on land you aren’t going to use afterward.

      See it being moved and in action here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5fwggXg1EY

  3. President Elect Toxic Deplorable B Woodman

    The Stribs don’t take care of their infants.
    The Stribs don’t take care of their elders.
    They barely take care of their working age.
    How did they ever get to be a space faring (koff!) “civilization” ( koff!)?
    Con game and steal it all?

  4. President Elect Toxic Deplorable B Woodman

    Actually, knowing this much background, it should be relatively easy to “ground” the Strib.
    Take the infants (that they’re so eager to give away, anyway), have them be raised by a more compassionate civilization. Have the children deny their Strib heritage.
    Chemically neuter/castrate the breeding age men & women. No more children. In one generation, no more spacefaring Stribs.
    (unless they have breeding tanks or some such)

  5. Pete Rogan

    At least the Stribs are consistently shamelessly self-serving. Nothing they won’t do for their own ease and comfort.

    I think they should be grounded on Planet Lovingkindness here and their ships smashed and their other tech taken away from them. Let them go back to tilling the land — and, oh, taking care of their children and elders they so willfully want to dump on others. Pronounce the place a ‘dark world’ and put warning beacons around it to warn others of the nasty plague thereon. That ought to give the Galaxy about a generation to figure out what they want to do with them permanently. I mean, they already found a way to become spacefaring once; I don’t think they’re going to stay groundbound long, and people had better be prepared to deal with them most pitilessly when next they appear.

    Now I need another gin and tonic to calm me down. Woo, this is work.

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