06/25/25 – Barbarians! Monsters!

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As Second-In-Command and the others returned to the bridge, Val said, "Where is he?! What did you do to him?" Second-In-Command said, "out the airlock. Poof. All gone." Val said, "You barbarians! You monsters! I hate all of you!" Second-In-Command waved a hand in dismissal and said, "Blah blah. We've heard it a million times." Angry, Val said, "Uou know, if a million people think you're assholes, maybe you should pay attention." Second-In-Command dismissed this, saying, "Whatever. We're going to take you and your friend in to face charges. Where is your partner in crime?" Val yelled, "Up your ass!" Second-In-Command skeptically said, "I tend to doubt that. No room. I haven't been eating enough roughage, and I'm kinda blocked up in-" Second-In-Command was interrupted by Gerek appearing over the ship's vid-com. He said, "Oh, hey! What're you all doing back there still? I'm over on your ship now." Second-In-Command let out a terrified, "gah!" And then said to Val, "Not so blocked up any more."

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Don’t count your chickens before they hatch-up-a-plan-to-topple-your-tyranny.

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As Second-In-Command and the others returned to the bridge, Val said, “Where is he?! What did you do to him?” Second-In-Command said, “out the airlock. Poof. All gone.” Val said, “You barbarians! You monsters! I hate all of you!” Second-In-Command waved a hand in dismissal and said, “Blah blah. We’ve heard it a million times.” Angry, Val said, “Uou know, if a million people think you’re assholes, maybe you should pay attention.” Second-In-Command dismissed this, saying, “Whatever. We’re going to take you and your friend in to face charges. Where is your partner in crime?” Val yelled, “Up your ass!” Second-In-Command skeptically said, “I tend to doubt that. No room. I haven’t been eating enough roughage, and I’m kinda blocked up in-” Second-In-Command was interrupted by Gerek appearing over the ship’s vid-com. He said, “Oh, hey! What’re you all doing back there still? I’m over on your ship now.” Second-In-Command let out a terrified, “gah!” And then said to Val, “Not so blocked up any more.”

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9 Comments

  1. David

    > He held his breath
    That can be dangerous in a vacuum. As in exploding-lungs-dangerous.
    Of course Bollycks’ lungs may work differently, or have a safety valve, or some other form of plot armour.

  2. progan01

    Hey! Like Mungo in the farce. Mumgo here. Mungo there, Mungo everywhere!

    I still blame Stanley Kubrick for popularizing the idea that exposure to vacuum is survivable. It’s not the lack of air, it’s the lack of pressure that keeps your blood from forming bubbles of air that then become clots and block your heart and brain. Don’t believe me? Talk to Georgy Dobrovolsky, Vladislav Volkov, and Viktor Patsayev about it, the crew of Soyuz 11 in 1971. Oh, that’s right — you can’t.

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