11/28/25 – Diagram and Instructions

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Sitting on the edge of Audri's bed, Val and Lasper talked about lovemaking. Val said, "So, how do our species, um... do it?" Lasper said, "I haven't read up on how humans do it, so I'm not sure how different it will be for you. But here's a diagram and instructions." Lasper handed her his approxiscan and she looked at the diagrams, and then turned the screen to one side and then another, and then upside down. Lasper said, "I assure you that in the moment it feels far less complicated." Still looking at the approxiscan with perplexity, Val said, "Was reproductive evolution on your planets designed by Ikea?"

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Well, it’s good to learn something new every day, right?

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Sitting on the edge of Audri’s bed, Val and Lasper talked about lovemaking. Val said, “So, how do our species, um… do it?” Lasper said, “I haven’t read up on how humans do it, so I’m not sure how different it will be for you. But here’s a diagram and instructions.” Lasper handed her his approxiscan and she looked at the diagrams, and then turned the screen to one side and then another, and then upside down. Lasper said, “I assure you that in the moment it feels far less complicated.” Still looking at the approxiscan with perplexity, Val said, “Was reproductive evolution on your planets designed by Ikea?”

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11 Comments

    1. Keith

      Never look up Hyenas then. Great Googly Moogly! Those poor things. Also, I have never ever purchased or assembled Ikea furniture. I have fought a few items my wife has purchased online. (litter box enclosures, small armoire) that were all from china and their drafts men could all stand to stop using software and learn to actually draw mechanical drawings and label properly. Sorry that last bit caused a moment and I may need my frog pills.

  1. progan01

    Put me in mind of B. Kliban’s cartoons “Genitals of the Universe.” But they were all static. Considering the complexities of motion, the attempted proximities of sense organs, and the subtle but necessary and inescapable effects of gravity, I’m not surprised to learn that NASA is already studying the potential for human sex in microgravity or lessened gravity. Even in fiction, this is a field of endeavor with which we have no known familiarity. Just thinking about what it will take to get that familiarity…. I think I’m done here.

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