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I admit, it’d be a hell of a thing to find out.
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Lasper was still in the lounge with Picknar, and unconscious Val and Audri. Lasper said, “Picknar, listen, I have something to confess. I slept with valerie.” Upset and a little shocked, Picknar said, “And did you know at the time that her body was just a loaner?!” Lasper sad down beside Picknar and said, “I did. And I know it was inappropriate. But it’s all been so confusing.” Picknar tackled Lasper and started choking him. Picknar said, “Is this confusing, you mini-squeefle?! Is there any confusion about what I’m expressing now?” Lasper only managed to sayd “Gurrgghhhle.” Continuing to choke him, Lasper said “Why?! Why did you seduce her? Why did you convince her to do that?!” Lasper managed to say, “I was into her, but it was she who seduced me!” Picknar stopped choking him and said, “Really?” Lasper said, “I mean, I still could have said “no.” I still bear responsibility.” Picknar pondered a moment, saying, “Yeah, but if it was her who…” Then Picknar looked back at Lasper and said, “Choking the life out of my own body seems unwise. Even if it was her, do you mind if I keep choking you?” Lasper said, “I might have one or two objections to that.”
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“Captain, I–”
“Yakky, help!”
“Great Neeblar’s Pockets, Captain! Why do you even bother wearing pants!?”
“IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!!”*2
“So it really is what they all say.”
“…It’s all been so confusing…”
“See?”
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“How do I know you’re telling the truth about her?”
“Have you seen the butler?”
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“Too bad we can’t ask the cat. People say things in front of pets, and they’d make great witnesses if they could talk.”
“If I may say something…”
“Gahhh!!! A talking cat!”
“Don’t say anything!”
“I’d plead for mercy but you obviously have none.”
I’m dying to know if Valerie still has a thing for Lasper once she has her human body back.
Shakespeare didn’t write anything like THIS.
Impressive. Christopher, press on. I don’t know where I’ll wash up but I bet I’ll like it.