10/04/10 Zap Conditioning


In the news, we have discovered life on planet Gliese 581g! Or you might practically think that based on all the headlines. From reading the articles, I think all they actually know is that it’s the right temperature (distance from its sun) to not boil or freeze. This is called the “Goldilocks” zone. But they don’t know if there actually is life there, what size the planet is, or if you can get a decent cup of coffee there yet. Starbucks is looking into it.

My girlfriend stuck some ears on me, said “you’re Yuri” and took a picture.



  1. So, Dimitri found a way to get drunk without draining the spacetrawler… things could get interesting if he tries that at a formal event. Fifth-last panel is one of the greatest expressions on Martina. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t stop laughing!

    As for Gleslie 581 g, it’s probably being looked to more as a place where we can go. Since “g” orbits a dwarf, the Goldielocks zone is something like a couple hundredths of an AU from its star, meaning its years are very, very short, and its days are actually longer than its years. Sounds more like Mercury than Earth to me.

    @Coyoty: don’t go there.

  2. JKCarroll

    Dmitri is now officially a Mad Russian.

    And @Frank, all we need to do is get a bunch of NFL teams (I was going to say “a bunch of high-school football teams”, but then I realized this plan needs a lot of extra mass), put them on Gleslie 581 g, and have them run AWAY from the sunrise. That will start imparting rotational acceleration to the planet in small amounts, so we don’t rip the planet apart.

    How will we get these teams to start running, or even agree to this? Er… Well… Ah! We can also bring along all those schools’ cheerleading squads to keep encouraging them! Or… Well…

    I gotta think some more about this…

  3. @JKCaroll: You’re missing the obvious: professional sports players will do anything for money. All you gotta do then, is put the payment just out of their reach (I suggest some near-ground orbit to save on fuel) and make sure they know which dot in the sky it is.
    Only problem is that, for the players to make it alive to “g”, we need to invent
    1. some way of getting them used to a gravity that is higher than what we got on Earth, during the journey
    2. near light-speed travel (Gleslie 581 is some 20 light years away)
    3. contracts that last longer than the journey, since these guys usually retire young

    (I’d like to put a smiley here, but I’ve raised some serious points with my “joke”)

  4. Christopher

    @daniel_wolff, our lawyers wish us to advise you not to try such an experiment at home. It’s much preferable that you try it alone, in a gutter, hooked up to a car battery.

    @Captain_Jack. I know! Put him on the ceiling and I bet he’d stick!

  5. Pingback: Spacetrawler - 12/08/10 Dimitri’s March

  6. I’m pleased that at least one person is frequently changing their attire. It must be difficult to devise what Martina wears from time to time. If the characters in my comic ever wore clothes, they’d be pigeon-holed in the same attire week in and out.

  7. OMG, ive been reading this comic for ages, but I’ve always imagined that Dmitri spoke with an american accent. Now I have to go back and reread the entire series with this hilarious russian accent to supplement his crazy antics! Win!

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