06/22/11 Greased Dark Light Speed


Hahahaha! Man, that was a fun stupid idea to write.

Hey, I just arrived back in Seattle from Philadelphia, and am just getting my head together, so not much to blog about. So instead I’ll post some sketches I did at the convention this weekend. Enjoy!


  1. So, if I understand the king correctly, photons are 97 percent dark matter and leave dark matter waves 103 times the size of light waves. These waves would overlap and push interference waves ahead of the photons that are faster than the interference waves from light waves, which the Eebs utilize.

  2. Herandar

    How would they know Eeb proclivities when the entire species has been brain clamped for generations? Or do Eeb generations turn over much faster now that they are all born in a lab?

    Wait. No mention of Greased Dark Lightning??

  3. Dunn Hasting

    so…basically the eebs, who are usually peaceful and obedient, can suddenly become psychotic world killers when they run on drunk rage eh?

    also, just to be sure, the mihrrgoots in fact are totally fine with liberating the eebs? they don’t need them to develop their dark light (ooh oxymoron) technology?

  4. Joal

    The line “Well, it all sounds like bullshit to me” was perfect. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Also, I’d like to read that literature on “facing unfathomable horrific potentialities”, it would help me during my web surfing.

  5. Filipe

    Light grease… light dust… light darkness… wow it all makes sense now!

    The mihrrgoots probably new the eebs before the clamping happened. The king makes a good point, unclamped eebs will go after the guys that are keeping them as slaves. It’ll get nasty…

  6. JKCarroll

    @Filipe, all we have to do is tie it in with “light beer” and we’ll become the most powerful entities in the Universe!


    err … ahem … sorry … too much espresso too early in the morning …

  7. Spacetrawlers seem to be valuable for their ability to synthesize just about anything in space. So the Mihrrgoot solution is: by making trip times shorter, even the smallest ship should be able to stock enough supplies for the journey the old-fashioned way?

    @JKCaroll: I know I’d buy one

  8. Christopher

    @Mike, Hahahaha! ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes.

    @Herander, @Filipe is correct, they knew the Eebs pre-clamping. But this strip had so much text I bumped that line to the first panel of the next strip.

    @Dunn_Hasting, or they’re breeding their own clamped eebs. But I’m still debating that issue in my head.

    @Frank, or a food synth can be made on a smaller scale. I’m not sure that will be relevant to the story, so I’m not sure if I’ll tackle that issue.

  9. Nick Bacon

    @Christopher: And a quick review of the strips while you were posting (cuz I had the same thoughts as Herander) assures me that finding out that the Eebs are brain-clamped will be shocking news to Pierrot and Krep. What will *they* do with that info, not knowing about Red-9’s DNA bomb?!? Can’t wait to find out! *girlish squeals!*

  10. Night-Gaunt

    The Mihrrgoot’s Dark Drive answers that question, “we know the speed of light, but how fast is the speed of darkness?” And there is no known speed limit for the space/time/vug* fabric. When the Big Bang occurred it moved at whatever speed it needed to.

    Vug is that missing piece our physicists haven’t yet found that allows for time travel and removes the time dilation effect. But one day they will or not. But then the Mihrroots have found their own way around it.

  11. Lord Morgue

    Now that the crew is settling into their roles (stern yet compassionate leader, grouchy swashbuckler, laidback ace-in-the-hole, psycho death kitty, ADD gunslinger, and official backstabbing douche), I’m reminded of Blake’s Seven, who were possibly even more dysfunctional, just as well-intentioned, overwhelmingly heavier armed, and DIED LIKE DOGS.
    But their arch-enemy was a LOT hotter, sorry Kuu-Drahc fans. I’m sure he’s a wildcat in the sack.

  12. Filipe

    @JKCarrol, Dark beer is definitely preferable to light beer. Guiness will take you across the stars.

    @Lord Morgue, I watched Blake’s seven for the last time in the early 1980’s. Damn I’m old.

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  14. Fish

    So when I make predictions based on tropes:

    If the author doesn’t go with what I said, I can say I steered them away from it.
    If the author does do what I said would happen, I can say I’m prescient.

    Win-win! (Except when you sort of avert the trope, but not quite. Like I said that we would find out how evil the Sub-Mihrrgoots really are after they say their kin above-ground are disgusting, and they’re mostly good, if apparently un-caring. Or do I just have to wait for a while?)

  15. Christopher

    @Fish, I do tend to be untraditional in that i don’t believe in strictly good or bad, and don’t usually have much interest in writing a story which follows that path. Glad to be aversonary! ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. Kathleen

    You know, it can’t be that bad. I mean, the Eebs had unimaginable power BEFORE they clamped themselves, and they didn’t turn the universe into their slaves. And you KNOW that we humans would not have been so generous. We would have made a sizable empire at least.

    But think: if you can clamp a whole species’ brain, why not change their personalities to make them super forgiving for when you unclamp them so that they don’t exact revenge? unethical, but still.

    On an unrelated note, I’m surprised no one has commented on the musical reference.

    Everyone, sing it with me! Go greased lightning your burning down the quarter mile (greased lightning! go greased lightning!)

  17. Filipe

    @kathleen they went after the competition (other eebs). I wouldn’t be surprised to learn they had eliminated entire worlds perceived as menace, or that they simply didn’t like.

  18. JKCarroll

    @Filipe, HA! You dare to compare Guinness to any Russian beer?! Russia’s beer-brewing industry pre-dates its vodka industry. Try an “Ochakovo” Chernoe, or better yet, “Baltika” Number 4. (I prefer Baltika #3 for pale lager and #4 when I’m in a “darker” mood.)

    (And to those who would compare the typical mass-produced American beers to horse p*ss, understand two things: 1) American beers are designed to be consumed when you’re outside at some event when it’s 90*F [32*C] and 80% humidity; and 2) American brewers have spent many long years breeding horses that produce such high-quality p*ss!)

  19. @Kathleen: I heard that one as “speed lightning”. Of course, I now see that “greased lightning” makes a lot more sense.

    Also, that was a goldanged awful movie (as far as movies go; me? I don’t even consider it a movie ๐Ÿ™‚ )

  20. Lord Morgue

    Oh, my God, you are going to LOVE Blake’s Seven. Created by the same guy as the Daleks, imagine Star Wars if Luke Skywalker got set up on charges of child molestation, Han Solo was a Charlie’s Angel, the Emperor had the face of Betty Boop and the body of a stripper, Darth Vader spent all his time whining in a scouse accent that the “diodes all down me left side hurt”, they destroyed the Millenium Falcon in a tiff over who got to drive, and everyone spent all their time insulting each other and getting wasted on prescription drugs. PLAYED DEADLY SERIOUS.

  21. Fish

    @Christopher: Thanks for doing shades of grey, though I’ve not much thought on it in this comic. Maybe – maybe I need to read the archives again with this new light? After I finish catching up on Dinosaur Comics . . .

  22. Lord Morgue

    Another thing that reminds me of B7 is how their personalities are are showing in how they dress. Badass longcoat, comfy shirt and jeans, Astroboy/Hello Kitty moving towards RAPE SPIDER, SRS BUSINESS Star Trek meets Che Guevara, and Han Solo Corellan Action Stripes with a hint of matador jacket. And awww, Dum Dum looks sad without his Dance Commander outfit.

  23. JKCarroll

    Isn’t “Blake’s 7” where we got the line,

    1. Anything that’s not nailed down is mine;
    2. If I can pry it up, it’s not nailed down.

    And @Fish, make that, “… read the archives again with this new DARK light.”

  24. Christopher

    @Lord_Morgue, i think part of that is that impression is that so much Sci-Fi is based on a military/naval structure and so everyone is usually wearing similar uniforms.

  25. Lord Morgue

    Yeah, but our guys have a food-and-clothing synthesiser, and the Liberator had an entire costume department, so the crew used to dress up a lot. Leatherboy maths nerd, robin hood with bat wings, court jester, red leather lobster, silver baked potato, they had a lot of looks. Hah, but I think the only one who actually was military was Tarrant, and he was more piratey once he found his groove.
    But choice of clothes gives some insight into how the characters see themselves.

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