08/22/19 – Doing Okay


    1. Coyoty

      Pigs. People love bacon, and pigs are pretty intelligent already. If pigs could talk, there would be a black market for people who won’t give up their bacon. Meat would really be tasty murder. I imagine there’s such a market for furryite meat.

      1. Muzhik

        @Coyoty, Couple of things. First, talking pigs? Feh. PARROTS can talk. Now if Captain, winner of the 2019 Iowa State Fair Big Boar contest, started holding conversations, that’s a different matter. And it’s got to be the pig saying more than just, “You stink. Feed me.”

        Second, we’ve got companies on Earth (aka “Dustinia”) that will be bringing lab-grown meat to the market in a few years. You’re telling me that in that huge galaxy, there aren’t a few mad geniuses who could figure out how to clone furryite MEAT and grow it in a vat, and make a mint selling the product as “humanely (or whatever the galactic equivalent source is) sourced furryite burgers”?

        HA! Yeah. Pull the other one.

        1. Muzhik

          Mmm, vat grown long pig. It’s my favorite.

          Larry Niven wrote a short story in his “Draco Tavern” series, called “Assimilating Our Culture, That’s What They’re Doing!” To quote the Wikipedia entry on the story, “… a crewman from the first embassy ship to an alien homeworld reveals that when the aliens [the Gligstithoptok] took DNA samples it wasn’t for pure scientific purposes: they grow brainless human clones as a food delicacy.”

  1. Night-Gaunt49

    So far he’s getting of easy. Now if she makes him eat the mop…well.

    Now imagine that cows have been engineered to be living workers on the farm. With near human level intelligence. Would that be better than reanimated corpses or robots? Or just other humans doing the back breaking labor for a pittance?

    Never mind.

    1. A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox’s table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have been an ingratiating smile on its lips.

      ‘Good evening’, it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, ‘I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in the parts of my body?’

  2. Coyoty

    “What he say?”

    “He say he want furryite sandwich.”

    “That a sex thing? He want threesome with us?”

    “Or he really want sandwich with us. Still not get one.”

    “He want furryite sandwich, I want filet o’ fish sandwich.”

  3. Jim Campbell

    I have just finished an end to end archive trawl. It took me about two and a half days.

    I put serious effort into it, of course, and I had the spare time since, like Dimitri, I’m retired.

    I’ve left the odd comment here and there over the years, but I (think I) only left one new one over this most recent dungeon ru… er, archive trawl.

    I shall award my one remaining cryogenically preserved Furryite burger patty to the first person to find it.

    1. Thracecius

      Dead Winter! I enjoy that comic a lot, which is saying something since I don’t like zombies at all. There’s something to be said for an artist/writer who can make me like the characters and story enough to keep me checking-in every month or so when she updates.

  4. Peter Rogan

    And so my hope becomes forlorn. Sigh. But Nogg asked for it. He really did. The last person in the Galaxy to confess a hankering for furryite flesh to, and he does. He’s lucky the mop came first, and not the withering energy blast.

    You know what, Nogg? Borrow the mop and scrub your brains clean. They could use the wash.

  5. ronald

    IIRC Nogg only “recruited” Yuri and the others to help end Eeb slavery. I think Nogg’s primary motivation has been to help others whose problems didn’t affect him one way or the other. Nogg doesn’t refuse to care. Because, apparently, he can’t.

    O’Kingly once described Nogg as a “big-hearted fool.” Well, that’s better than being a small-hearted fool looking out for no one but one’s self.

    1. Thracecius

      I’m not sure if it applies to alien races or not, but maybe Nogg is the equivalent of a human with Aspberger’s? Missing social cues can be easy enough with your own culture, but with alien species and customs? That’s got to be a real challenge.

      Counterpoint: Yuri has furryites living on the premises and he has to know, thick-headed as he appears to be, that saying he wants a furryite sandwhich is not appropriate. 😉

      1. Muzhik

        Counterpoint: Yuri has furryites living on the premises and he has to know, thick-headed as he appears to be, that saying he wants a furryite sandwhich is not appropriate.

        Then again, it may be a linguistic distinction that the universal translators just aren’t picking up on. In English, we grow “cow” but we eat “beef”. That’s because when the Normans invaded, they brought their Frenchified food terms into good English kitchens, thus forcing, FORCING I say, English cooks to adopt these Norman cooking terms.

        Seriously, though, I may say the Normans “forced” their linguistic terms upon England; but let’s be honest: English as a language is a language of, shall we say, “easy virtue.” It probably took all of a Filet Mignon with a port wine sauce and an apple and calvados sorbet (calvados is apple brandy) to let the Normans into English kitchens.

        1. Peter Rogan

          Muzhik: Have you ever TRIED English cooking? This is the land of ‘pigs in a blanket’, blancmange, lard puddings and kippers for breakfast. The Normans had to force nothing; I’m certain every cook welcomed the innovation that there was something more interesting to eat than organ meats. Sacrificing ‘ivren’ for ‘l’eouves’ that somehow ended up as ‘eggs’ was only part of the journey they willingly undertook.

          As for English being a language of ‘easy virtue’… Do not mistake our present-day vernacular for the Mercian spoken at the time of the conquest. Easily fewer than a million people in the world spoke it, certainly not the whole of Britain, certainly not even all of England. It has taken centuries of borrowing and habituation to form ‘English’ out of the messy stew that William and his nobles found and make it into a lingua franca for the world. Yes, I’m aware of the contradiction! Pay attention!

          1. Gregg Eshelman

            Ah, English ‘cooking’. Did you ever see that show “You are what you eat”? Cooking up a whole rasher of bacon, with eggs ‘fried’, more like poached hard, in a skilletfilled 2″ deep with oil – and one guy would eat the whole thing.

            “We just can’t lose weight!” Well, start by not eating 6 eggs and half a pig for breakfast every day. 2 eggs, fried with just a smidge of butter or oil, and 2 or 3 strips of bacon.

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